Modern Mom Life

After giving birth, it's very common for the new mom to have a surge of all kinds of emotions. Being able to hold your baby and look at them after waiting all those months is so amazing and can make anyone happy, but there's also a lot of stress that comes with getting used to having the new baby too. You're exhausted, stressing over every little thing when it comes to your newborn, and worrying that you may not be doing the best you can. The first couple of weeks after having your baby are the most tiring and stressful, so it's extremely common to experience the baby blues. However, the baby blues are different from postpartum depression, so it's very important to take care of yourself and talk to someone if you're worried that you may be depressed.

After delivering your baby, your body is going through tons of changes, getting back to normal after carrying the baby around. All the hormonal changes can cause an emotional imbalance, and so can all of the sleep deprivation. On top of the hormones, all the worry and stress, and even some negative thoughts about your new appearance and motherly instincts, can cause random bursts of sadness and crying.

Bringing the baby home initially, you can feel like you won't be able to take care of your baby properly on your own. You can find yourself crying in the middle of the night during a feeding because you haven't gotten much, if any, sleep. You can't get the baby to stop crying or fussing, and you find yourself in tears as well. Feeling like you're just not doing good enough can pop up out of nowhere.

It's very common for some or all of these things to happen after having your baby. You find yourself sobbing while cuddling your newborn. The most important thing that you need to remember if you're having some negative feelings is that in situations when you're getting upset or frustrated, if you have to, lay the baby down and step out of the room for a few minutes to calm down. It's hard to ignore your baby's cries, especially if you're emotional about it yourself, but if you're crying and getting upset while holding your baby, it's best to lay them down so that nothing happens while you're holding them.
If your significant other or someone you live with is able to help, then do not hesitate to ask for help in moments like this. There were a few times in the first couple of weeks when I would be up in the middle of the night with my son and couldn't get him to calm down enough to latch onto my nipple to nurse, and it would make me cry, so I would ask my husband to wake up and help me. He would help me with latching and then he would reassure me and help me to feel better about myself. I hope that every new mom has some kind of support system, especially in times like these.
In short, the baby blues are simply bad moments or days in which you feel generally sad and upset. Baby blues usually occurs within the first few weeks or months postpartum, but can still occur throughout the following months as well, jut not as often. If you find that you are feeling upset and sad for more than a couple of days and going through your day gets harder and harder, do not hesitate to talk to your doctor; postpartum depression is very serious and potentially dangerous for you and your baby. Remember that it gets easier and that you'll get through the hard times very soon; you are still a great mother, even when your baby is crying and won't sleep. You'll look back on those hard times and feel good about yourself because you were able to push through them for your baby, and that is an amazing feeling.

When I went into labor, I just had contractions and kept timing them and waiting for the trickle of amniotic fluid. Every time I went into the bathroom, I checked for any changes in discharge, but my mom (who was with me during labor) assured me that I would know if my water broke because it would be a stream. After a couple of hours of seeing pinkish, watery discharge, but not in a stream, I did a lot of searching online to see if what I was looking at was amniotic fluid or just more mucus. Almost everything I searched said that my water would burst, not slowly leak, and that it would be more clear than have a color, so I was still questioning what I was seeing. Luckily, my husband and my mom convinced me to go ahead to the hospital because after a little over a day of contractions at that point, I was almost completely dilated by the time I got to the hospital. And sure enough, my amniotic sac had a small tear in it, causing the fluid to slowly leak out rather than stream out. 

So knowing if your water breaks, it isn't as clear cut as it seems in movies. It may not even break on its own, so don't only look for your water breaking as a sign of going into labor. It may be a sudden burst of fluid, it may happen after hours of contractions, or it could just slowly leak out so that you barely notice it. If you notice that your water breaks, don't wait around too much longer, so get to the hospital (if that's where you choose to deliver). There's a chance that, once the amniotic sack breaks and the fluid is released, that you can get an infection and it can effect the baby, so don't waste too much time.

• Several full pads. Wear a pad if you think you are having different discharge than usual. If the pad fills up relatively quickly, put on another one. If this one fills up too, it is most likely amniotic fluid meaning your water has broke. Sometimes, you can urinate on yourself without realizing in, especially if you're already having contractions, so you'll want to make sure it's not urine.
• Watery consistency. You may notice more discharge than normal, but if it's thick and snotty, it's most likely mucus and not amniotic fluid. The reason they say your water is breaking is because the amniotic fluid is just that, a fluid. It's going to resemble water, not be thick or like jelly.
• Look and smell. In most cases, amniotic fluid is clear, sometimes appearing bloody or pinkish. There can be chunks of mucus within the fluid as well, but it won't only be mucus. Amniotic fluid has no smell, so it will be easy to tell apart from urine. 

It's definitely a good idea to make a birth plan, even if it's not something you explicitly wrote down on paper. You need to have a general idea of how you want your labor and delivery process to go so that there will be some expectations and the nurses and doctor know what you want. If you seriously sit down and write down everything you want, there are several things that you will come up with. But there are just a few major things you'll want to tell the nurses and doctor while you're being emitted for delivery.
If you don't already have a planned C-section and no emergencies arise during the beginning of labor, you will have the option of vaginal delivery or C-section. However, unless you are dead set on having a C-section or something comes up during labor or delivery, the doctor will recommend having a vaginal delivery. The choice is still available. You can also choose to have a water-birth as well since a lot of hospitals are now integrating delivery rooms with tubs.

You'll need to decide who will want to be in the room with you during your delivery. Hospitals have specifications for how many people you may have in the room with you, and the specifications differ if you are having a C-section. The hospital I went to allowed three people in the delivery room with me, and only one person if I had to have an emergency C-section. I had my husband, my mom, and my mother-in-law in the room with me. Of course, who you have in the room with you is completely up to you; you're the one that's all exposed on the bed after all.
During labor, you have the option to get pain medication to help with the pain of contractions. Lots of women know that they will get the epidural way before they go into labor, others say that they will try going without medication, and some are determined to not get any medication at all. It's hard to tell what the labor pain will be like, even if you've given birth before, because every pregnancy is different. The most common pain medication for labor is obviously the epidural, but there are several other options so ask your doctor for other medications that they offer.

If you decide to breastfeed, make sure the nurses know so that they can help you with latching the baby onto your breast and not to give the baby a bottle of formula or a pacifier. In many cases, a baby can get nipple confusion if given a pacifier or a bottle and won't latch onto the breast. You can also get a lactation consultant to help you out and answer any questions you may have.
These are some of the main things that will need to be decided before going into labor. There are, of course, many things that can be considered; for example, who will cut the umbilical cord, if you do skin-to-skin right after the baby is delivered, and some hospitals even offer to let you watch the baby be born via mirror. It's a good idea to write these things down and take it with you when you go to the hospital to make things easier, but you need to at least have these decisions made, even if you don't write them down.