Modern Mom Life

Being a stay-at-home mom can be one of the most stressful things a mom can do; it's a 24/7 job with the most responsibility you'll face in a lifetime. On top of taking care of your child or children all day, there's the added stress of cleaning the house, making meals, and feeling stuck at home.
Being at home with your baby or babies can make you so happy. You'll get to see every little thing, and that in itself is rewarding. But every now and then, you can feel overwhelmed. Trying to do laundry or wash dishes becomes an even harder task to get done now that there is someone that can interrupt. As a new mom, I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "nap while he naps"; and then I heard the other new moms tell me that it isn't like that at all. There's so many things to get done around the house and to take care of myself that simply can't get done while my son naps. Plus I just want to sit on the couch and hold him.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming because dirty dishes are piling up, the kitchen is a mess, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in months, there's piles of dirty laundry and clean laundry that has been neglected to be put up, and everything else has been getting behind as well. Trying to worry about taking care of your baby and tackling all of the housework can be so stressful. Just looking at the mess can bring on a sense of dread and anxiety. It gets maddening sometimes when you feel like even if you start to take care of the household chores, you won't be able to finish them because your baby will need you. Plus, it's so much easier to spend time with your baby rather than clean. Being depressed can cause things like household cleaning to be neglected, which in turn can make the depression worse.
There are several times when I realize that I forgot to eat a meal or haven't showered in a couple days because I'm so invested in taking care of the baby that I simply don't think about my own needs. Thinking about yourself isn't something that comes naturally anymore because the baby comes first. You may catch a quick glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize you haven't even brushed your hair in several days, let alone actually took time for yourself. Or even if you do make sure you shower and eat all of your meals, you feel different about yourself because all of the care and attention goes to the baby. Plus, your body is completely different, so you may feel bad about the way you look now. You no longer take pride in your clothes, hair, or makeup; you just throw on some comfy clothes and that's it. Being insecure and having low self-esteem becomes normal.
When taking care of the baby and trying to keep up with the household chores is all you do every day, you hardly ever leave the house. It takes some time to get ready and get a baby ready to leave the house, so making plans becomes difficult. Even if you have plans, there's a chance they will fall through because the baby could just be having a fussy day; having a fussy baby out with you isn't something you necessarily want. And there's a good chance that most of everyone you know works, so you're still at home by yourself all day while they're all working.
The guilt from not working will also add to the negative thoughts. Seeing your partner work every day to make enough money to take care of you and your baby is something that can make you feel like you're not providing enough. If there's any financial troubles, you feel like it's your fault because you're not working. You feel guilty for having your partner support you while you sit at home all day. You worry about the bills but can't contribute to paying them. You just feel guilty for putting all of that pressure on your partner.
The hardest part of being a mom, even if you don't stay at home, is the doubt. There's days when you think that you're not being a good mom or not doing enough for you baby. And to translates to your relationships too; you're not being a good wife or girlfriend, not being a good friend. Being trapped in your home with a screaming baby to take care of by yourself will make you feel like you're not good enough. Being at home all day surrounded by a mess will make you feel like you're not doing enough.You begin to question how good of a mother you are, how good of a partner you are, how good of a friend you are, and you start to believe those negative thoughts.
It's so easy to feel like you're stuck in this space. Being at home all day with a baby to take care of and a house to clean will drive you crazy over time if you let it. It's so hard to get out of that funk, but you have to try. Planning days out of the house and not backing out of those plans is important. Have someone take care of the baby while you take some time for yourself. Make sure you take time with your partner. Having a baby can put a lot of stress on a relationship or marriage, especially in the beginning, so make sure you take time to be a couple. Don't feel guilty when asking for help; your job as a stay-at-home mom never ends and is way more stressful, so have your partner or family member watch the baby so you can take a shower. Make sure you let people know that the job of being a stay-at-home mom wasn't as simple as it seems, and you need more help than they think you do.
Make sure that if you have these negative thoughts and feelings a lot, that you tell someone. You don't need to silently suffer, especially when you're responsible for a baby. Even if you feel like you can't talk to your partner or family members, there are tons of mom groups online, and maybe even some local mom groups you can find, that will allow you to talk through your negative feelings and make plans to get out of the house. There are going to be bad days as a mom, but all of the little moments you get to see and enjoy as a stay-at-home mom make it all worth it. 

Something that I think about sometimes when I'm talking to other moms is how I might come off as bragging when I talk about my luck with breastfeeding. It's definitely not something I want to happen. I was very prepared to struggle when it came to breastfeeding and was going to switch to formula if I had to, so I don't want to make it seem like I'm bragging about my situation to other moms. And I'm still a new mom, so things could change for me that causes me to switch or supplement still.
My son has been exclusively breastfed his whole life; between nursing and bottles, he has been successfully fed. I am so proud of my son and myself. Things have been so good for both of us. I have a significant freezer supply, I pump daily, I feed him every time he's hungry. I am definitely lucky for this situation. As happy and proud as I am of how things have went this far, if things change, I still know that I'm a fantastic mom because my ability to nurse him does not affect that.

My son was born on November 5th, 2018 and he has never used a pacifier. I always forget that pacifiers even exist, let alone are the norm for babies. Until he was a month old, I had never thought about giving him a pacifier, and the only reason I thought about it was because a family member asked me when I was going to give him one.
During my pregnancy, I planned on breastfeeding my son and decided to wait until he was a month old before I gave him a bottle or pacifier so that he wouldn't get nipple confusion and not want to latch anymore. Once he was born and started nursing, I knew that when the time came, he would have no problems with using a bottle or pacifier and then switching back to my nipple. He was almost 4 weeks when we gave him his first bottle, and once be figured out he was getting milk from it, he was fine; but he had no issues with switching between bottle and breast.

During the first month, we learned all of his cries and what they were for. Every time he cried, it was because he had a dirty diaper, was hungry, wanted to be held, or simply wanted attention. He never really cried for any other reason, and I always nursed him if he wouldn't calm down. Because he's been such a happy baby, I never thought about a pacifier.

The first time I realized that we had never given him one was when a family member asked when we planned on giving him one since he did so well with his bottle. At that moment I decided that we wouldn't be giving him one. Why try and get him used to using a pacifier when he hasn't had one for over a month?

Time has went on, and even when my son gets fussy, I've never thought about getting the pacifiers out. It's just not something I feel is necessary for him. If he gets so fussy that nothing seems to help him, I'll nurse him, even though I know he just ate, and he calms right down. I nursed him during the first month as a comforting thing for him since I didn't think he was ready for a pacifier, but now we don't have any issues with that. Most of the time now when he's fussy and nothing fixes it, he's just fighting sleep, so I'll nurse him to sleep. And this isn't an everyday thing; it'll happen maybe once every two or three days.

Of course, I've heard from family that I need to give him a pacifier because he doesn't need to rely on me nursing him. The thing is, he doesn't rely on nursing for comfort anymore; he only did that during the first few weeks, and he hardly ever cries now. I got very lucky that my son isn't a crier, so I never saw the point of giving him a pacifier.

Another thing I get told is that babies want to have things in their mouths all the time. This is true, especially once they get older and teething starts. They tell me that if he wants something in his mouth, he's just going to get stuck sucking his thumb and he won't give it up like he would a pacifier; it's harder to take their thumb than their pacifier. This could definitely happen, but we'll still break him from his thumb just like we would a pacifier.

I never thought during my pregnancy or even during the first month that I wouldn't want to give him a pacifier, but as time goes on, I know he doesn't need one. On the rare occasions that he dies cry and not just make fussy sounds, my thoughts never go to the pacifier, I'm trying to figure out why he's so upset if I don't already know; and if he's still upset after I bounce or rock him, I can nurse him and then he's fine. Even though I've had some people ask me about it when he does seem to be getting fussy, I tell them there's a reason he's fussy, and once it's fixed, he's fine.

Now don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with using a pacifier, as long as it's not being used for too long. It's recommended that babies stop using a pacifier once they're 2 years old or younger. Some doctors recommend using pacifiers in babies under 6 months to reduce the risk if SIDS, but after this period, to lessen the use of the pacifier so it's for soothing and not a formed habit.

Soothing your baby is one of the important things to do as a parent, and pacifiers are extremely helpful. If my son needed to be soothed more often and I wasn't able to nurse him, I would definitely consider a pacifier, but, as of right now, my son doesn't need one, so I don't give him one.

Being a stay-at-home mom is something that is considered nearly impossible today. It's one of those topics that can cause lots of stress and tension. If a woman decides to be a stay-at-home mom while her partner works, people say she's putting too much on her partner. If a woman decides to go back to work, people say she's not putting her children first. The thing is, that decision is completely up to the mother and her partner and nothing else matters.
Making the decision to stay at home with your child or children is definitely a hard one. Even if you decide to just stay home for the first year or so, it can be difficult. There's a lot of factors that go into deciding to stay at home.
The biggest one that can make or break the decision is finances. Going from a duel-income home to a single-income home is extremely challenging. You have to look at all of the bills and expenses beforehand, adding the new ones for the baby, then figuring out what to cut back on. It can be possible to cut back and rearrange some expenses so that one income will cover everything, but sometimes it's simply not possible. It's hard to worry about finances and getting bills paid when you're not working. It can make you feel bad for putting so much pressure on your significant other and not helping out.
Me and my husband always kept our incomes separate and split the bills, but we obviously can't do that now that he's the only one making money. He got a new, and better, job to help support our new family as well. It made me feel guilty because he was having to leave his old job, which he enjoyed, to find something new to make more money for us. I also felt guilty that I'm at home, not helping with paying for anything, while he works all day. After talking about it, we both feel a lot better about our situation because he wants me to stay home with our son.
Staying at home also implies that you'll be taking care of the household chores too. In theory, it seems reasonable and possible, but it's a lot harder than it sounds. The majority of your time will be spent loving on that baby, and it's more satisfying to hold your baby than to fold laundry anyways. Don't feel too pressured to get everything done in a day. Laundry can sit on the basket for a day, or more, before being folded. The dishes can wait one more day. Of course, don't let this mindset get out of hand to the point of having piles of things to do everywhere. And your significant other can still help out when they're home; it's not all on you now that you're home all the time.

Staying at home all the time can become very stressful and depressing. You can feel trapped within your own home. All the chores will start getting backed up and it will feel impossible to get anything done, especially while also taking care of your baby. Sometimes babies don't want to nap or be away from you, so it's almost impossible to even eat let alone clean the house. But, over time, you get acclimated to doing everything one-handed or wearing your baby to get more done.
Something I found that makes it easier to clean is to sit my son in his bouncy seat and move it into the room that I'm in if he doesn't have anywhere to lay. I fold laundry on our bed, so he lays next to me. When I'm in the kitchen cooking or washing dishes, he's in his bouncy seat. I try to shower while he's asleep in his crib, so I can see him on the monitor, or I'll have him in his bouncy seat right outside the bathroom (I leave the door open).
Staying at home is also very rewarding. You don't have to pay an arm and a leg for daycare. So many people that I know that went back to work after having their child and send them to daycare say that them working isn't even really worth it because almost all of their paychecks go towards the daycare. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, depending on your career. There's also the issue of not being able to trust everyone with your child, even family in some cases. There are so many horror stories from children being neglected or abused by daycare workers, and it's almost impossible to think that this could happen to your baby.
You don't have to miss anything; any firsts for your baby, you get to be there for. The first time they sit up by themselves, the first word, the first time they crawl, the first step, can all be missed if you're away from home. Of course, this doesn't make you a bad parent if you don't get to see it, it's just one of the pluses to staying at home. You don't have to miss any smiles or giggles and get to enjoy every second with your baby.
Even though staying at home seems so amazing, it is still very stressful. If you decided to stay at home, remember to still take time for yourself. Don't feel guilty for asking for help around the house; you're job doesn't end at home, so it's important to make sure to take care of yourself. It's also important to stay social; being at home with the baby can make you antisocial, so invite some friends and family over or go out for the day. Don't make yourself feel like you're stuck at home. Although it can be tiring to have to work your schedule around your baby all day long, it doesn't seem like such a burden because being with your baby and seeing those gummy smiles makes it all better. 

Although I tried several of these for a couple of weeks, especially once I got to be 39 weeks pregnant, I still went past my due date by 5 days. Inducing your labor at home is possible, but it won't work thoroughly if your body and baby simply aren't ready yet. I would recommend whole-heartedly trying these methods if your around 38 weeks or more, just because it is more likely to work and be safe for you. So if you're impatiently waiting to go into labor, why not try to make it come faster with a little extra exercise or some special time with your partner?

Breastfeeding is so beneficial for mom and baby. It is such a beautiful bonding experience and such a natural act. The truth is that it can be very difficult in the beginning, but do not give up if you really want to breastfeed. Something else that is important to remember is that if you feel like you can no longer do it or keep up with your baby and everything you try isn't working, do not be ashamed to supplement or even stop breastfeeding. It does not make you any less of a mother if you have to stop breastfeeding; as long as you feed your baby and take care of them, you are an amazing mother.

These are most of the products used to help with breastfeeding. Some of these are a must-have, such as nursing pads, breast pumps, and milk storage bags, but some of them can be replaced with regular things you already have, such as using a regular pillow to support your arm and your baby, or covering with a blanket. Hopefully some of these can help you with your breastfeeding journey and make it easier on you and your baby!

There are a lot of things for you and the rest of your family that you'll want to stock up on as well. It's pretty easy to get all of those baby things together and ready, but it'll take a little bit of shopping to get the rest of the family's things stocked up. Right after you have the baby, you don't want to have to go to the store, so go ahead and get prepared.

• Food. You'll want to have some easy meals to make once you get home. Of course, family and friends customarily bring food over for the new little family, but it's still a good idea to have some frozen or simple meals ready to make so you won't have to worry about cooking dinner.
• Paper plates & plastic silverware. Who would want to have to worry about dirty dishes when you have to get used to worrying about dirty diapers? Get some paper plates, and even some bowls, and some plastic forks and spoons so there's not a sink or dishwasher full of dishes.
• Paper goods. Go ahead and buy an extra pack of toilet paper and paper towels. Why not go ahead and stock up on those items so you won't have to make a quick run to the store if you get down to the last roll?
• Toiletries. Shampoo, conditioner, soaps, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. is something you don't want to run out of once you get home either. Go ahead and stock up for the whole family so that everyone can shower in peace.
• Cleaning supplies. You may want to get a few more natural cleaning products in your arsenal so you won't have to worry about any messes or harsh chemicals being around your baby.

Although there are several things you can skip when it comes to stockpiling your home, there are some things that shouldn't be skipped. In the end, gathering all of these items up before the baby is born can make life after the baby is brought home easier for Mommy and family.

You're probably thinking, "is there such a thing as too much milk?" Let me be the first to tell you that there is such a thing as having too much milk. My experience with producing a lot of milk has been a roller-coaster. I personally think my supply is still fluctuating at the moment, but I have been dealing with having full breasts for most of the day. I have to get up around 7 AM to nurse and pump, and by noon, my breasts are extremely full again. When I nurse my son, I only feed him on one side at each feeding, and that breast will still be slightly full when he's done. My freezer is full of milk, but I've been able to donate my milk to a family member with a preemie baby.
It's a blessing and a curse. Of course, you'll never have to worry about running out and not being able to feed your baby. However, there are several negatives as well.

In my case, my supply fluctuates from week to week, but I think it will probably settle out soon. I'll have full breasts and produce tons of milk for several days, then for a few days after that I won't produce as much and won't really feel full. Sometimes I'll be full in the morning, but won't be full at all throughout the afternoon and at night. The positive thing for me is that I still have enough milk to feed my son like I usually do, but it's so scary to think that my supply may be going away.
This is another problem with producing a lot of milk; if your supply ever dips for a few days, it'll worry you to death. Losing your supply is something that scares most breastfeeding moms, especially if your supply has never been an issue throughout the whole breastfeeding journey.
Important: A tip on leveling out your supply if it becomes too much is to make sure you're not completely draining your breasts when pumping. If your breasts are empty, it tells your body that next time, it needs to keep producing that amount plus extra because you ran out before. If you don't completely pump your milk out, it will tell your body that you don't need that much milk over time. So if you are producing too much and want to lessen your milk production, pump enough for comfort, but not all of your milk.
At the end of the day, having a large production of breast milk is manageable and can allow you to build a supply and donate. It can be very stressful and worrisome at times, but if you're careful and take care of yourself, you can manage it and benefit from it.